Working in a happy safe workplace, where it is a pleasure to hang out with others is something we all want. But as dispute resolution professionals working through Nelson, Tasman and Marlborough, we know, that sometimes this is not the case. Some people feel sick at the thought of going to work, not because of the work itself but because of workplace disputes and conflict with others.
If you are having workplace dispute issues, or are in conflict with a work colleague, it’s time to talk to them, daunting as that can be. However, before you do so, it’s worth doing some preliminary planning.
Workplace Disputes – Tips to help you move forward:
Pre-planning
Firstly you need to be clear about what is at the root of the issue. Some common scenarios we see in workplace disputes throughout Nelson, Tasman and Marlborough are;
- An issue developing around the use of resources
- A structural or role issue
- A dispute arising out of different values or priorities
A common overriding factor in all workplace disputes is communication, but do explore deeper than this to get to the underlying cause.
Changing your shoes:
Once you feel you have understood the issues, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Explore how they might see the issues and compare this with your view on things. Often people in conflict have similar feelings; both parties may feel misunderstood, anxious, upset and/or betrayed.
Finding the right words:
Think about what you want to say and how you might say it in a non-threatening way. Often, we find writing this down helps you to stay on track when you do have a conversation.
When you are ready to talk, the tone and timing are important. Try “I wonder if we could please have a catch up later. When would suit you?” It’s important that you don’t spring a talk on them when matters are heated. Always be respectful and never raise the issue in front of others.
The discussion itself
It is useful to split the discussion into two phases.
First phase:
The first phase focuses on what has happened in the past. Open the discussion by saying how you see things that have occurred. Be careful not to lay blame. Avoid using the words “you always…” or “you don’t… ”. Instead, talk about yourself and how you feel. Stick to the facts and if anything soften your message rather than catastrophise it. Clearly express your feelings and be firm that you are now keen to put things right between you.
The objective of this phase is to open up a dialogue. Indicate that you would also like to understand the other party’s views. Listen, pay attention, acknowledge and show you are listening. Reflect back on what they say but try not to respond defensively. Instead, accept that this is how the other party sees things and acknowledge their feelings. Be prepared to admit your own failings in what has occurred.
As dispute resolution professionals working in Nelson, Tasman and Marlborough, one of the most common things we see in unresolved workplace disputes are where parties have tried to move too quickly to a solution. This is a mistake. People need to explain their feelings and feel they have been understood. To quickly move to a solution before you have both fully expressed how you feel can result in a short term fix with ongoing resentment. In these circumstances, the issues and feelings go underground. So take the time to listen and reflect and put yourself in their shoes. Consider offering an apology. This can allow the other person to also apologise and acknowledge their part in it.
By understanding and implementing the first phase of workplace dispute resolution, you can go a long way towards building a more constructive relationship.
Second phase:
The second phase is about finding solutions. It is often a good idea to make another time to have this discussion. Any delay allows the feelings of relief to develop, and an improved relationship can result before moving on. It can also allow you to take time to consider options for resolution.
At this next meeting, brainstorm together the options and then agree what you will both do. This phase often takes care of itself when the first phase has been properly attended to.
To confront any workplace dispute takes gumption but the sense of accomplishment and relief in creating a better place to work are great rewards.
If this road map doesn’t work for you, consider bringing in a facilitator or mediator. A skilled independent dispute resolution professional will move the discussion forward and help you find a resolution. At Resolve It we help individuals, business owners, managers and key decision-makers in Nelson, Tasman and Marlborough create happy and rewarding workplaces for all. Contact us HERE.